Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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