i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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