Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
