Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
