You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How does one acquire holy water?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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