We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
