just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
