Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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