the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
