Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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