wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
