it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
