dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
