i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
