She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
