You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
