He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
