So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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