Im at strip club and am horny
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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