when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
