that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
