Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
