i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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