btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
