My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
