He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just gift wrapped bread.
Hippo gnu deer
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
