summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
