Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
