now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
