GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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