He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
