I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you will always have a special place in my vag
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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