i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
