i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No subtext here. People are naked.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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