upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
