can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
