Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
