i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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