good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You need Xanax blowdarts
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
