I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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