I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
