Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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