come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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