dude i'm inner monologue high
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
