watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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