This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Where is the hickey?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
