we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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