Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
