I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
