I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
