My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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