Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
